Will I miss my kids?

The hallway outside my room resembles the aftermath of hurricane Katrina as my students' papers have literally covered wall to wall. I have 23 students, and throughout the course of the year, each student used roughly 1 ream of paper for their work. That's 23 reams of paper scattered about right now being sorted.

Sometimes I wonder if I will really miss my kids. Kids are really annoying. They smell funny, throw food, and tattletale on each other like no other. They rarely express gratitude, and complain about everything under the sun. They think the world revolves about them, and they are some of the germ-iest creatures alive. Everyday when I get home, I wash my hands at least 3 times; most days, 4. And even then, I STILL don't feel their cooties completely off me.

In regards to my kids in particular, here are some unprofessional quantitative and qualitative observations I've reached after being with them this year:

50% should be taken in for some serious therapy sessions (i.e anger management, getting a grip on reality, sexual confusion, depression, socialization)
80% should be pulled out of the after school program and placed into intensive 1-1 tutoring
30% should receive a beating
10% should buy deodorant
100% should be given hand sanitizer

My kids:
1. Love to fart in class. They absolutely love it. You would think that in wanting to be the center of attention, they would strive for higher goals and say, get a gold star for working hard. But nope, farting seems to suffice.
2. Love Chucky. They also love bloody Mary (who supposedly lives in the girl's restroom), zombies, blood, guns, and watching stuff blow up. But most of all, they love talk, draw, and write about Chucky. And yes, my kids turn 10 in 2009.
3. Love to play backpack wars. Why wearing your backpack in front of you and knocking everyone else out is not yet an extreme sport, I have not a clue.
4. Love "going to the bathroom" and "getting a drink of water." Two free chances to escape momentarily outside into freedom; away from homework, away from centers, away from Ms. Teresa's glaring eyes.
5. Love Sponge Bob. As this show only requires the attention span of 15 seconds to be fully engaged, it's no wonder why my kids love it.
6. Love Little Caesar pizza parties. We may have turned into pizza snobs. I know I have with my vegetarian fresh ingredient jazz playing co-op Cheeseboard collective pizza in Berkeley. But compared to the government funded after school snacks these kids usually get, Little Caesar's pepperoni pizza with coagulated cheese is KING.
7. Love making "banana splits." Not ice cream. A banana split is when two friends sit on two playground swings next to each other. They then turn to face each other, and each places both their legs near the other person's crotch, thus making a formation resembling a banana split. They then will call on two other (non swinging) friends to come and push them.
8. Love pelting balls at each other. If it's inside, it's called Silent Speedball. If it's outside, it's called Crossfire. Both (more so the outside one), involve the need to hurl balls at one another. I think it helps some with the anger management, serious.
9. Love to steal erasers.
10. Love catching bugs. Bees, rolie polies, butterflies, and lady bugs are poor victims of my kids' incessant need to collect insects and store them inside their pencil cases.
11. Love rain. Torrents of rain would send a sane person running for cover, but it sends my kids racing outside straight to the deepest puddles.